UFC Star Chris Leben, new Hawaii resident and owner of the Ultimate Fighting School in Manoa, dropped by the show on Tuesday to discuss Brock Lesner’s UFC 100 post-fight tirade, sparring with UH Football player Jake Hune, and his impending beat down of Jake Rosholt in UFC 102.

Chris Leben Interview - 07/14/2009

When I found out that two of my buddies, Jericho and TimboSlice, were competing in the 2009 Hawaiian Islands Bodybuilding competition, my first thought was NOT, “Wow, I really want to go.” It was more along the lines of, “dudes in thongs and chicks that look like dudes in thongs? Thanks, but no.” But both of them had trained incredibly hard and dieted fastidiously over the past six months — That’s right, six months of dieting. No drinking. Incredibly limited carbs. Almost no salt, so little, if any, seasoning. Jericho came to my daughter’s first birthday party and wouldn’t even eat grilled chicken or sausage. Instead, he brought plain tilapia and green beans. Yum. So, I decided to show up and support them.

Consider me a changed man.

Bodybuilding is not a bizarre freak show or comic spectacle. It is a captivating display of science, physiology, and hard work, willpower and mental strength on display in grand fashion.

It’s easy to sit around with your buddies and laugh about comically inflated muscles and meatheads with biceps so big they can’t touch their shoulders. In fact, I fully expected to write about the laughable largess of physical fitness taken to the bizarre extreme. But, when I sat in the audience, watching bodybuilders of all shapes and sizes display their incredibly toned and finely crafted physiques, I was simply impressed and amazed at the physical capabilities of the human body.

Sure, a few of the competitors looked like poster children for a “Dangers of Steroids” video (“Hey, guys. Do you crave the inability to touch your shoulder? Want your intestines to swell so your stomach distends like a starving Somalian? Dying to have your very own set of firm, plump womanlike breasts? Then have I got the thing for you…”), and yes, there’s something inherently comical about athletes on stage in thongs and shimmery body glitter — let’s just say they take the idea of a body as a “well oiled machine” a tad too literally, but for the most part, each competitor was jaw-droppingly fit and a stunning testament to hard work.

So, I want to give a big JBorhood salute to Jericho and TimboSlice, who came in 2nd and 3rd in their respective weight classes and, in the process, completely changed my opinion of bodybuilding. They both accomplished, far and away, the most impressive feat I’ve ever seen from a man in a thong and body glitter.

(I respectfully reserve comment on the extent of my experience in this regard.)

As luck would have it, I found this video of TimboSlice (the guy in the middle) competing on YouTube. If you can believe it, the video doesn’t even do him justice…

A lot has happened the past two weeks, but I’ve been hard at work on some exciting upcoming developments for the site and have not had time to adequately address them.

So go grab an ice cold beverage (alcohol admired, but not required), fasten your seat belt, and get ready, cause it’s time for…

JBORHOOD QUICK HITS!!!

Wait, wait, wait. The Lakers are going to be BETTER next year???

The four things the Lakers lacked last season were a point guard, long distance shooting, defense and toughness. By signing Ron Artest, they immediately addressed three of the four. Now they not only have three seven footers, but an additional perimeter scorer who can create his own shot, and the best perimeter defensive tandem in the game (Kobe/Artest).

Most importantly, they added a bit of crazy to an otherwise vanilla group of guys. Rightly or wrongly, last year’s Lakers were viewed as a bit soft. A group you wouldn’t mind walking your grandma across the street, or sharing a cup of tea and a crumpet with at the Country Club.

Now?

Forget about it.

I can’t think of one acceptable situation involving Ron Artest and my grandma and I’m getting a little creeped out just trying.

So, say hello to your overwhelming 2010 NBA Championship Favorites.

I think the Spurs, Celtics, Magic and Cavs might have something to say about that…

Though it’s probably not a good thing when your professional sports league resembles feudal England (Why do I get the feeling I’m the only one that laughed at that joke?), the ridiculous concentration of talent on only a few teams should make this…

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

…the most exciting season in NBA history.

(there it is)

That’s right. I said it. 2010 is shaping up to me the most exciting season in NBA History. The Lakers look unstoppable, but San Antonio added Richard Jefferson to a team that won over 60 games last season; the Celtics added an all-star caliber power forward to a team that won the NBA title a year ago and already had the most dominant front court in basketball; Cleveland added an inside scoring presence (Shaquille O’Neal) and versatile wingman (Anthony Parker) to a team that only lacked an inside scoring presence and a versatile wingman; and Orlando added Vince Carter to a team that went to the NBA Finals.

That’s five teams with a legitimate shot at winning the title and doesn’t even take into consideration Denver (the same team that almost knocked off the Lakers with an older, wiser Carmelo), Houston (provided they get Yao back), and Portland (Brandon Roy makes anything possible) who could all arguably contend if everything fell into place.

(No Pistons fans, overpaying for the rights to two non-all stars, Ben “I Learned Everything I Know About Defense From France” Gordon and Charlie “I Use Twitter During Halftime” Villanueva, doesn’t make you a title contender. Hope you enjoy losing in the first round of the playoffs for the next five years.)

So save those vacation days now because come next May, it’s going to get crazy.

Brazil paid America the ultimate compliment: they actually tried.

Yes, the United States got absolutely pantsed in the second half of the Confederation Cup Finals. Yes, it was a choke on an epic scale. Yes, US Soccer still isn’t ready for prime time.

BUT… and this is a huge, Beyonce-Sized but(t)…

We made Brazil play.

It reminded me of when I played ping-pong against my older brother growing up. He’s four years older than me, so he would routinely kick my ass. Beating me was far too easy, so he’d start trying ridiculous shots. He smiled and cracked jokes while we played. He’d let cross court shots drop in rather than dive to get them.

But, I still couldn’t beat him.

When I turned 15, I started practicing. Practicing my serve. Practicing putting spin on the ball. Practicing hitting back hand shots. After a few months of practice, I noticed a change in my older brother’s play. He stopped hitting ridiculous shots. He didn’t smile as much. He stopped telling jokes. All of a sudden, it got serious.

It was at that moment, I realized that I’d finally arrived. I couldn’t beat him, but I made him work for it.

When Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan scored world class goals to launch the US to an early 2-0 lead, I noticed that the Brazilians had the same look on their faces my brother had when I could finally challenge him at ping pong. All of a sudden, it was on.

Brazil came out for the second half like bats out of hell and put on one of the most dominating 45 minutes of soccer I’ve ever witnessed. They overwhelmed the US in every phase of the game. I’m surprised the final score wasn’t 75-2.

But, they had to work for it and they finally took us seriously.

Good job, boys. You’ve arrived.

Andy Roddick did America proud

Though he came up short, Andy Roddick gave it his all in one of the most epic matches in Wimbledon history last Sunday and…

Oh who am I kidding? Even I don’t care about tennis.

Former Warrior All-American and 2nd year Dolphins Receiver Davone Bess dropped by the show to talk with Rob about being a victim of identity theft on the internet. A fake D-Bess Twitter account caused problems after the “fake D-Bess” contacted charities and even called out Titans Runningback Chris Johnson. Bess also spoke of his preparations for his Sophomore season in the NFL, including adding boxing into his off-season workouts.

Davone Bess Interview - 06/30/2009

I’ve never met a beer I didn’t like.

Well, actually, that’s not true. My freshman year in college, my buddy Jon-E bought a twelve pack of this foul swill called Blatz. Yes, Blatz. I believe the name comes from what you spend the next day doing. (”Sorry, dude. I can’t play ball right now. I’m in the bathroom taking a mean Blatz.”) The “beer” — I use the term loosely — tastes like skunky, watered-down, alcoholic seltzer water. Jon-E, me, and two other buddies took a sip and simultaneously spat out a mouthful of Blatz. You might say we Blatz’ed all over ourselves.

None of us finished our beer and we used the remaining cans trying to hit a STOP sign across the street. (Haley, if you’re reading this, please understand that Daddy often needs to exaggerate his stories to enhance their comedic value. We actually drained the remaining cans, took them to the nearest recycling center, and donated the redemption money to a local children’s hospital. Also, drinking is bad and you can’t date until you’re 35, so stop asking.) We didn’t chill them. We didn’t bring them to a party. We didn’t even put them in a beer bong. We just threw them away.

Let me repeat that so it sinks in: Four broke, college-age males THREW AWAY 12 FULL BEERS.

At that point in our lives, we would have drank bong water if it had enough alcohol in it, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to have one more sip of Blatz. To this day, Blatz remains the only beer I’ve ever thrown away.

So, I have met a beer I didn’t like, but only one.

That’s not to say that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every beer I ever drank (save one notable exception). There are some God awful beers out there. Natural Light, or Natty Light as the kids are sayin’ these days, should come with a warning label that says “if your hand isn’t uncomfortably cold when you’re holding this beverage, you should set it down and walk away”. My thoughts on Stella are well documented. I think Corona would taste better if the Mexicans DID piss in it. But that doesn’t mean I would pass up a Natural Light, Stella, or Corona if offered. I think these beers have a time and place and enjoy them on occasion, but I also recognize that they are more than moderately mediocre and understand why the vast majority of people can’t stand them.

It’s the same reason why the vast majority of American’s can’t stand soccer: American soccer sucks.

It doesn’t “Blatz” suck. It’s not unwatchable. But, for the most part, American soccer is bland, uninteresting, and unappealing, the sporting equivalent of Natty Light. And those are the good games.

I understand this might come as a bit of shock to the American soccer fans out there (all 25 of them) riding high after the US National Team’s shocking upset of Spain, the number one team in the World, but it has to be said in order for us to move forward. Admitting we have a problem is the first step towards fixing it.

So, repeat after me.

“American soccer sucks.”

Again!

“American soccer sucks.”

LOUDER!

“AMERICAN SOCCER SUCKS!”

One more…ok, this is getting ridiculous.

You get the point. Americans do not play soccer at a high level. Our National Team is competitive (just ask the Spaniards), but we aren’t a threat to win a major international competition (No, soccer sycophant — would that be a soccerphant? — the “Confederation Cup”, which, for the record, I had to Google just to make sure I had the name right, does not count as a “major” international competition. There’s one major international competition — two, really, but the US does not participate in the European Championships for obvious reasons — and it’s called the World Cup.), the MLS is a joke in comparison to other top flight international soccer leagues (English Premier League, Italian Serie A, or Spanish Primera Liga), and, most importantly, the United States Soccer Team does not have any identifiable superstars.

We have some good players, but no superstars. No Ronaldinos. No Kakas. No Cristiano Ronaldos.

Everyone’s abuzz about Jozy Altidore after his game winning goal against Spain, but Jozy Altidore is just another way of saying Freddy Adu, which is another way of saying Landon Donovan, which is another way of saying DeMarcus Beasley, which is another way of saying Brian McBride, which is another way of saying Claudio Reyna, which is another way of saying Tab Ramos, which is another way of saying Alexi Lalas, which is another way of saying… ok, I’m out of names.

Any time an American soccer player emerges with a modicum of talent, the sports media dubs them the “Michael Jordan of Soccer” and guarantees that they will transform soccer in America and establish the USA as a World power in the sport. Soccer fans keep buying into the hype and telling their friends that this time will be different. This player is the real deal. Trouble is, none of them are the real deal and after selling the casual sports fan a bill of goods for over a decade, the American soccer fan has completely lost his credibility.

If American soccer fans want the casual sports fan to truly embrace soccer, they need to be honest with them. They need to look them in the eye and tell them the truth: “American soccer sucks, but it’s getting better.” In fact, in my lifetime, I should be able to use phrases other than “not entirely embarrassing”, “vaguely watchable”, and “refreshingly plucky” to describe soccer in America.

And, frankly, I can’t wait.

Because while soccer in the USA might suck, soccer as a whole, most definitely, does not suck. In fact, soccer is one of my favorite sports and one of the most thrilling and dramatic to watch. You just have to understand it.

It’s become rather en vogue to say that soccer is boring. Soccer’s detractors point to the lack of goals as irrefutable evidence that soccer lacks drama or excitement. What they fail to realize is that the lack of constant scoring is exactly what makes soccer so exciting.

Because teams score only a few goals in a typical soccer game, each goal is incredibly important. And while a game may contain only a small number of actual goals, it consists of a never ending series of shots on goal, near misses, and scoring opportunities, each of which is an edge-of-your-seat moment due to the chance that it might lead to the ever important goal. Watching a close soccer match is like watching the bottom of the ninth in a one-run baseball game with a runner in scoring position, if the bottom of the ninth lasted AN HOUR AND A HALF. (That’s right, a soccer game is only 90 minutes and, because there are no stoppages in play aside from half-time, there are no commercials. If you want to watch a football game or baseball game, you’re making a half-day commitment. With soccer, you can start a game at breakfast and be done in time for brunch. Brilliant!)

Sure, there are boring soccer games, but for the most part, a small handful of plodding, defensive 1-0 soccer games give the rest of the games a bad name. And, to be fair, every sport has boring games. A 76-63 basketball game is boring. A 10-3 football game is horrible. A 1-0 baseball game is debatably more appealing than watching two sloths hump in slow motion on the Discovery channel. But, regardless of the score, games in all sports have a certain appeal if played at a high enough level. Even a 1-0 soccer game, if played between Brazil and Argentina, or Spain and England, or Manchester United and AC Milan, is almost always engaging, exciting, and thrilling from start to finish.

And that’s where we need to get with US Soccer.

Right now, bad US Soccer games are downright Blatz terrible and good games are luke-warm Corona funky. For soccer to truly take off in America, we need the bad games to be slightly-chilled Coors light eclectic, and the good games to be ice-cold Maui Brewing Company Big Swell IPA on the beach at the North Shore at sunset spectacular (If you haven’t had the transcendent experience of enjoying the best beer from, what is, in my opinion, the best local brewery, on the beach, at the North Shore, at sunset, you haven’t lived). Until then, there’s no use trying to convince casual sports fans to watch soccer, because no one wants to watch two hours of the sports equivalent of Blatz.

Not even me.

Mixed-martial arts standout and future University of Hawaii football player Corey Daniel provides an inside look at the transition from MMA to College Football and answers, once and for all, who’s a tougher tougher Castle High Grad, him or Blaze Soares…

Corey Daniel Interview - 5/28/2009

Hard hits, impassioned opinions, and… nutrition?

That’s right. Ex-NFL star linebacker Bill Romanowski dropped by the show on Tuesday to discuss coaching vs. playing football, the trouble with retirement, and his new supplement company, Nutrition 53

Bill Romanowski Interview - 5/26/2009