When I found out that two of my buddies, Jericho and TimboSlice, were competing in the 2009 Hawaiian Islands Bodybuilding competition, my first thought was NOT, “Wow, I really want to go.” It was more along the lines of, “dudes in thongs and chicks that look like dudes in thongs? Thanks, but no.” But both of them had trained incredibly hard and dieted fastidiously over the past six months — That’s right, six months of dieting. No drinking. Incredibly limited carbs. Almost no salt, so little, if any, seasoning. Jericho came to my daughter’s first birthday party and wouldn’t even eat grilled chicken or sausage. Instead, he brought plain tilapia and green beans. Yum. So, I decided to show up and support them.

Consider me a changed man.

Bodybuilding is not a bizarre freak show or comic spectacle. It is a captivating display of science, physiology, and hard work, willpower and mental strength on display in grand fashion.

It’s easy to sit around with your buddies and laugh about comically inflated muscles and meatheads with biceps so big they can’t touch their shoulders. In fact, I fully expected to write about the laughable largess of physical fitness taken to the bizarre extreme. But, when I sat in the audience, watching bodybuilders of all shapes and sizes display their incredibly toned and finely crafted physiques, I was simply impressed and amazed at the physical capabilities of the human body.

Sure, a few of the competitors looked like poster children for a “Dangers of Steroids” video (“Hey, guys. Do you crave the inability to touch your shoulder? Want your intestines to swell so your stomach distends like a starving Somalian? Dying to have your very own set of firm, plump womanlike breasts? Then have I got the thing for you…”), and yes, there’s something inherently comical about athletes on stage in thongs and shimmery body glitter — let’s just say they take the idea of a body as a “well oiled machine” a tad too literally, but for the most part, each competitor was jaw-droppingly fit and a stunning testament to hard work.

So, I want to give a big JBorhood salute to Jericho and TimboSlice, who came in 2nd and 3rd in their respective weight classes and, in the process, completely changed my opinion of bodybuilding. They both accomplished, far and away, the most impressive feat I’ve ever seen from a man in a thong and body glitter.

(I respectfully reserve comment on the extent of my experience in this regard.)

As luck would have it, I found this video of TimboSlice (the guy in the middle) competing on YouTube. If you can believe it, the video doesn’t even do him justice…

A lot has happened the past two weeks, but I’ve been hard at work on some exciting upcoming developments for the site and have not had time to adequately address them.

So go grab an ice cold beverage (alcohol admired, but not required), fasten your seat belt, and get ready, cause it’s time for…

JBORHOOD QUICK HITS!!!

Wait, wait, wait. The Lakers are going to be BETTER next year???

The four things the Lakers lacked last season were a point guard, long distance shooting, defense and toughness. By signing Ron Artest, they immediately addressed three of the four. Now they not only have three seven footers, but an additional perimeter scorer who can create his own shot, and the best perimeter defensive tandem in the game (Kobe/Artest).

Most importantly, they added a bit of crazy to an otherwise vanilla group of guys. Rightly or wrongly, last year’s Lakers were viewed as a bit soft. A group you wouldn’t mind walking your grandma across the street, or sharing a cup of tea and a crumpet with at the Country Club.

Now?

Forget about it.

I can’t think of one acceptable situation involving Ron Artest and my grandma and I’m getting a little creeped out just trying.

So, say hello to your overwhelming 2010 NBA Championship Favorites.

I think the Spurs, Celtics, Magic and Cavs might have something to say about that…

Though it’s probably not a good thing when your professional sports league resembles feudal England (Why do I get the feeling I’m the only one that laughed at that joke?), the ridiculous concentration of talent on only a few teams should make this…

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

…the most exciting season in NBA history.

(there it is)

That’s right. I said it. 2010 is shaping up to me the most exciting season in NBA History. The Lakers look unstoppable, but San Antonio added Richard Jefferson to a team that won over 60 games last season; the Celtics added an all-star caliber power forward to a team that won the NBA title a year ago and already had the most dominant front court in basketball; Cleveland added an inside scoring presence (Shaquille O’Neal) and versatile wingman (Anthony Parker) to a team that only lacked an inside scoring presence and a versatile wingman; and Orlando added Vince Carter to a team that went to the NBA Finals.

That’s five teams with a legitimate shot at winning the title and doesn’t even take into consideration Denver (the same team that almost knocked off the Lakers with an older, wiser Carmelo), Houston (provided they get Yao back), and Portland (Brandon Roy makes anything possible) who could all arguably contend if everything fell into place.

(No Pistons fans, overpaying for the rights to two non-all stars, Ben “I Learned Everything I Know About Defense From France” Gordon and Charlie “I Use Twitter During Halftime” Villanueva, doesn’t make you a title contender. Hope you enjoy losing in the first round of the playoffs for the next five years.)

So save those vacation days now because come next May, it’s going to get crazy.

Brazil paid America the ultimate compliment: they actually tried.

Yes, the United States got absolutely pantsed in the second half of the Confederation Cup Finals. Yes, it was a choke on an epic scale. Yes, US Soccer still isn’t ready for prime time.

BUT… and this is a huge, Beyonce-Sized but(t)…

We made Brazil play.

It reminded me of when I played ping-pong against my older brother growing up. He’s four years older than me, so he would routinely kick my ass. Beating me was far too easy, so he’d start trying ridiculous shots. He smiled and cracked jokes while we played. He’d let cross court shots drop in rather than dive to get them.

But, I still couldn’t beat him.

When I turned 15, I started practicing. Practicing my serve. Practicing putting spin on the ball. Practicing hitting back hand shots. After a few months of practice, I noticed a change in my older brother’s play. He stopped hitting ridiculous shots. He didn’t smile as much. He stopped telling jokes. All of a sudden, it got serious.

It was at that moment, I realized that I’d finally arrived. I couldn’t beat him, but I made him work for it.

When Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan scored world class goals to launch the US to an early 2-0 lead, I noticed that the Brazilians had the same look on their faces my brother had when I could finally challenge him at ping pong. All of a sudden, it was on.

Brazil came out for the second half like bats out of hell and put on one of the most dominating 45 minutes of soccer I’ve ever witnessed. They overwhelmed the US in every phase of the game. I’m surprised the final score wasn’t 75-2.

But, they had to work for it and they finally took us seriously.

Good job, boys. You’ve arrived.

Andy Roddick did America proud

Though he came up short, Andy Roddick gave it his all in one of the most epic matches in Wimbledon history last Sunday and…

Oh who am I kidding? Even I don’t care about tennis.