I want to tell you that the Lakers were far better than the Magic.

I want to tell you that Phil Jackson put on a coaching clinic for the ages and thoroughly outclassed Stan Van Gundy.

I want to tell you that Dwight Howard established himself as a bonafide NBA super-duper-star.

I want to tell you that Kobe Bryant finally made the leap from ultra-talented player to transcendent legend.

But, sadly, I cannot. Not because these statements aren’t true (they are, well, all except for Kobe making the leap, but I’m getting ahead of myself) or because I don’t believe them (I do).

I cannot tell you because… I didn’t watch the NBA Finals.

Sure, I caught bits and pieces of games, watched highlights, and looked at stats, but I never sat down and watched a full 48 minutes of basketball.

I can rattle off a myriad of justifiable excuses (both my brothers were in town from the mainland, my 10-year High School Reunion was last weekend, two friends from out of town were staying at my house, I’m entrusted with the care of a 13-month-old drunken pterodactyl), however, the real reason is far more embarrassing:

I don’t have television.

Yup, that’s right. I’m a die hard sports fan, amateur sports columnist, and part time sports radio pundit and I don’t have television.

I have a TV, just no television programming. No ABC. No NBC. Certainly, no ESPN. I form my opinions based on box scores, highlights, internet articles, and second hand recaps.

But, while I no longer have intimate first hand knowledge of most sporting events, I still have my finger on the pulse of sports. For instance, today, Hawaii boy and Sportscenter anchor Neil Everett interviewed Kobe Bryant on ESPN. I was watching the interview on the elliptical trainer while sculpting my guns at 24 Hour Fitness and heard Everett ask “If I had never seen you play, Kobe, how would you describe your game?”.

I instantly thought “Passionate”.

Kobe’s response? “Intense. A lot of passion.”

I don’t know what this proves, other than after hearing ESPN talking heads expound on the depth of Kobe’s passion for the past month we can all agree that Kobe is most likely passionate about basketball. However, I’d also like you to take this as a sign that I maintain some rudimentary knowledge of sports and that you should trust what I say.

But, truth be told, you probably shouldn’t trust what I say. As the parent of a 13 month-old banshee on Red Bull, I’m in a permanent state of sleep deprived insanity. I have trouble piecing together coherent sentences, let alone breaking down the subtle nuance of the modern athlete.

Now that I’ve thrown any and all pretense out the window, take what I say with a Godzilla-sized grain of salt and let me tell you what I learned this past weekend, TV or no TV.

Kobe Bryant joined the discussion for ‘Who is the greatest NBA Player ever?’

Please note that I said joined. He joined the discussion. Now, instead of dismissing him altogether, we’re obligated to bring his name up, before quickly dismissing it and sharing a spirited laugh at his expense. He’s become the George Lucas of the NBA.

The main issue I have with Kobe is his insistence to do everything himself. In big moments, Kobe attempts to beat two or three members of the other team before launching a contested jump shot while his teammates stand around and watch. Boston recognized this last year and consistently forced Kobe into making bad decisions. This year, Orlando failed to capitalize on Kobe’s lack of faith in his teammates and LA won.

I kept waiting for something to change, for a switch to flip, and for Kobe to make the same leap Michael Jordan made between the 1990 and 1991 seasons when Phil Jackson taught MJ that he didn’t have to do everything himself, but it never happened. I thought it was going to happen after Kobe’s amazing performance in Game 1, but he reverted to forcing shots in Game 2, highlighted by the final play of regulation, where he drove the ball into a triple team and heaved a contested jumper that was blocked from behind by Hedo Turkoglu, rather than passing to one of his wide open teammates.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Kobe. I think he’s amazing. Top fifteen, maybe top ten to ever play the game. Love his effort, love his passion, love his killer instinct. But the list of potential best players ever still starts with Michael and ends with Jordan.

Phil Jackson cemented his legacy as the greatest coach in NBA history

With his tenth NBA Title, surpassing Red Auerbach’s nine, Jackson now has the best regular season winning percentage, best playoff winning percentage, the most Championships, and the most playoff wins in NBA History. Aside from the oft-dismissed metrics ‘looks the coolest smoking a cigar’ (Red Auerbach, hands down) and ‘most likely to leave a Soul Glow gel stain on your couch’ (Pat Riley, running away), Jackson leads every major NBA coaching measure, most by a considerable margin. He may have been blessed with superior talent, however, as Tony Sollitto pointed out in his recent interview on the Rob and Russ Show, big talent comes with big egos, and no one did a better job of dealing with those egos than Phil Jackson.

The only question left is whether Jackson has surpassed John Wooden as the best basketball coach ever. Personally, I say yes, but I’m an admitted Bulls fan and I really enjoy taunting my cousin who graduated from UCLA. (Check out Rob and Russ’s interview with Warrior Basketball Assistant Coach and former UCLA basketball player under Coach Wooden, Larry Farmer, for his thoughts on the subject.)

(If you think this section wasn’t largely a veiled attempt to plug two of our previous interviews, then you don’t know me very well.)

High School Reunions are high comedy

It’s amazing how quickly a collection of ex-classmates will revert to behaving as if they’re still in high school when thrown into a large group together.

It’s been ten years since I graduated High School and ten years since I’ve seen the majority of my classmates. Yet, just over 30 minutes after I arrived at a reunion event at Rum Fire, an old classmate ran up to me with an excited look on her face and said, “Justin, come over here. We saved a bench.”

Me: “That’s awesome. Let me go grab my Nirvana CD, put on a pair of Z Cavariccis and some Doc Martins and I’ll be right there!”

Just kidding. That’s what I should of said. What I actually said was:

[Cue dead silence]

I wish I could go back in time and see my expression. My head listed slightly to the side, my brow furrowed, and a look of humor, revulsion, and disbelief combined into a gaze that rendered my classmate speechless. If it wasn’t for another friend serendipitously arriving with a round of Patron shots, I think she might have ran off crying. (God bless the social lubrication of Tequila.)

Needless to say, I can’t wait for 2019.

Unless Orlando, Cleveland, Houston, or Denver markedly improve, the Lakers will win another title in 2010

We already know Orlando can’t hang with LA as currently constructed.

Cleveland lacks the inside presence or wing play to hang with the Lakers front court and perimeter shooters.

Houston needs a crunch time scorer to pair with Yao Ming and Ron Artest. (No, Tracy “I-decided-to-have-knee-surgery-when-I-found-out-I-was-going-to-be-traded- to-make-me-untradable” McGrady does not count as a crunch time scorer. It’s never a good sign when a team plays better without their superstar.)

Denver can’t reasonably expect Kenyon Martin and Nene to stay healthy for another full season and Chauncey is another year older.

Barring a remarkable return to health by KG, Boston lacks the weapons to hang with LA for seven games.

Chicago and Portland are too young.

San Antonio’s too old.

Dallas can’t play defense.

Phoenix is too old and can’t play defense.

And nobody else is remotely good enough.

So, barring a major shake-up, we’ll all be watching another Laker victory parade, hearing about Kobe’s passion, and talking about whether Kobe can win another title in 2011 and tie Michael Jordan with his sixth championship.

But don’t take my word for it, I don’t even have television.